More News From Vana'diel
BOO-FREAKIN'-YEAH! I finally got Samurai! It took me quite some time, but with some help from my linkshell members (thanks Laurathasla, and Rf ^^) I reached Norg, got the quest, and got it done, so now I'm swinging a very pretty Mumeito around, chopping monsters up left and right. So far, I'm really impressed with the class, and I think I might keep it evenly matched with my monk, which is now level 31 (I'm so proud ^_^). Aside from that: my money is taking an upward turn...for once, as I find that I'm buying cheaper equipment, and making more money. I'm just finishing up on the island of Elshimo, and on my last level needed in the Yhoator Jungle.

But, I'm off FF XI until January 10th rolls around since my brother's visiting for the holidays. Speaking of which, here's an interesting little event from the Christmas drive home from my Grandma's house:

Dad: "Gavin, do these ear phone jacks in the van still work?"
Me: "Ummm...I dunno, let me check. Plug mine in please."
Dad: "There we go, anything?"
Me: "Nope"
Dad: "Let me turn the volume up..."
Me: "Nothing yet."
Dad: "Oh wait it's in the wrong jack, let me change it."
---silence----
Me: "GAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

Moral of that little skit: never trust parents ^_^

Jeuno At Last!
Now Playing: Tales of Symphonia Remix - Seperated Worlds
Huzzah! I've finally done it! After long, and tiring training out in the Valkurm Dunes of Shiva in FF XI, I've finally left!

I celebrated with a return home where I sold off all my crystal stacks, and other money making items (Plus a little crystal farming as a BLM/WHM combo.). After I had finished I geared up, and began to make my way to the Pashhow Marshlands where untold dangers awaited me. I walked in and continued my journey...I just needed to pass the Rolanberry Fields to reach the Grand Duchy of Jeuno. Of course...the swamp wasn't exactly an ideal picnic spot: Malboros dotted the paths all the way to the fields. Of course...with a Mithran monk's agility, and speed I was able to sneak by them quite easily...plus, I followed up on my rule of, "If it's big, stay the hell away from it!" so I reached the Rolanberry Fields without incident. After a quick dash through the hilly field, I finally reached my destination.

What I saw was breathtaking: an enormous city where people from all nations walked the streets, unafraid, and quite content with their surroundings. There was even some back-alley gambling going on, with quite a few winners I had to admit, but with only a few hundred gil on hand, I couldn't indulge in such risks. I've now moved into the city, and await the time where I begin my training on Qufim Island.

Doncha like my cinematic style journal of FF XI? I personally think it's a little odd but...meh, whatever. I'm probably going to start that training on Friday, or the weekend, because right now I'm waiting on some stuff I put on Auction in Jeuno to sell, and I'm also waiting for when I'll have plenty of time to pummel some baddies, as opposed to the 2-3 hours I usually have on the computer after school. Aside from that, I've gotten my first term marks (Since Sir John A. Macdonald isn't a semestered school.) And my average is settled at a very nice 75% (that's a B in Ontario: yay!) I'm hopefully going to have my marks brought up even more by next report card so wish me luck!
I'll be posting a screenshot of my monk in a little bit, so hold on!
~Ja ne!

-=AND=-

Yes, I AM Alive Believe it or Not
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan...Repeatedly
Whew, it's about damn time that I got a chance to write an entry for my blog again. A few weeks ago I found that I couldn't connect to the tripod site, so I couldn't even read my blog let alone create a new entry.

Anyway, with all anger aside I suppose it's time for the oh so wonderful news of my life. I've gone through the first month of school, and I gotta say: I'm really going to like this year. All my teachers are really nice people, smart, intelligent, and young enough to relate to us whipper snappers, translation: they're damn nice people. My first tests and quizzes have been okay to date, mostly averaging in total around the 75% area, my tests are in the 80's though, so hooray! >.>

I'm still hanging out with the same old group of friends that I've had since grade 6, and on (sometimes I wonder why in God's name I do lol.). I'm still trying, along with other friends, to pry one of my buddies out of his house, I think he's only been to school for 4-5 full days, all the others he skips a period, or the entire day itself. We've made little progress, but something's better than nothing right? I just hope I can break him out of this habit, I've got the distinct feeling I'll be loaning him a lot of money otherwise.

Purchase-wise, I've gotten a few new games, and CDs over the last month. I bought Final Fantasy XI, and I gotta say, I'm impressed with it. The graphics are outstanding, and the gameplay is pretty good too. The game seems to emphasize heavily on teamwork, seeing as how after you pass level 10, you better find a party or you'll either be getting less than 25 experience when you've got 3,000 to chew through. You could get more on your own though, but you'd be getting your ass whooped for a measily 50 experience, so it's not a good tradeoff. I personally love the fact that this game has an actual, honest to God STORYLINE as opposed to many other MMORPGS ("Play Everquest! Be a goat farmer for 15 years of your life, then realize you're a nerd!") so...hooray! So far I've tried the monk class, thief class, white mage, black mage, and warrior class, and my favourites in order are:
1.Thief
2.Monk
3.White Mage
4.Warrior
5.Black Mage

Obviously I'm more of a charasmatic character, not exactly much of a fighter, or spellcaster. Oh, I also bought the new Sum 41 CD "Chuck", and I borrowed Mobile Suit Gundam: Encounters in Space from a friend of mine...by the way...BY CHUCK NOW! O_O

Heh...the part I don't like typing about: the inside of my mind (But hey, why call this "From The Mind of Sain" if I'm not going to share?) urg. Well, as of late I've been doing horribly, depression has set in (Yes, I've been finally diagnosed...it happened last month.) and it's making itself very comfortable, digging a little rut for itself. My friends have tried to help, and I'm very grateful to them for that, but it hasn't helped much and I don't want to make them worry or feel bad anymore. I've been telling white lies I guess you could say, if someone asks me if I'm alright, I smile and say "Just fine, thanks." while I'm practically crying on the inside. I hate being like this, I feel like shit, and I make everyone I hang around feel like shit too, and I'm considering various ways to just sort of disappear off the radar with them... My only real solace now are anything I can find to take my mind off everything around me for as long as possible, in fact, I've reread my Love Hina manga collection for the 6th time, all in the last two months. Now I usually just sit in my room, and listen to music, my Sum 41 CD namely, and whenever I go on the computer, I turn on winamp, and listen to "Welcome to My Life" by Simple Plan. Wish me luck with all this...I'm going to need it like you wouldn't believe...

"To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down, and feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down when no one's there to save you, no you don't know what it's like."

*Sigh* Mata Ne~

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Runs Around In Circles*
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Akeboshi, "Wind"
NOOOOOOO!!! School's coming! God save our souls! We're all GONNA DIE!


Heh heh, I'm just kidding of course; quite frankly, I'm looking forward to school. I've got some great courses lined up for me this year, and I've got two of my all time favourite teachers at the school, so all I can say is w00t!

When you think about it, school's really not so bad; it lets you see friends again, and hang out with them, it expands your horizons as well. And, well, let's face it: how sad would your love life be without school, eh? I know for a fact if it wasn't for school, there's no way I'd know the girl of my dreams, or many of my other friends for that matter.

Anyway, just remember: every cloud has a silver lining. There are bad things about school, but there's also great things about it as well, so just keep that little bit in mind.

*Runs Around in Circles Again*

RAWR! Not now! I still have to buy more manga, and anime, and FOOD! RAWR! @_@;;

Back To Square One. And The Problems of Society
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Dido, "White Flag"
Well, right off the bat, I'll explain the "Back to square one" the dreaded cycle has worn off...for the moment I suppose, but meh, I'd rather be happy for a short while, than miserable for life. Oh, and Legato is STILL my idol, heh, damn he's cool. Recently though, it seems like the only thing running through my mind is love, which I find kinda strange, yet understandable at the same time, since I'm more of a relationship person, than a one night stand. I'm just glad I'm not being specific with those mushy thoughts, and so should you -_O

Now that that's all wrapped up (I think) it's time for mini-topic #2: our hellish society. Ok, hellish is a tad severe, but still, it's bad none the less. What I'm talking about is common knowledge if you're near the Greater Toronto Area, or just around Toronto in general: the tragic hostage situation.

Recently, a disgruntled man went to the downtown area of the city, and began to attack his ex wife, he fired three times, and caught his ex wife, and began to beat her, until a group of concerned bystanders intervened. The man began to run away, but the police had arrived, so he grabbed a nearby woman, and held her at gunpoint as the OPP arrived on the scene. The standoff lasted for about half an hour, with the man becoming more, and more irrate, and when he seemed like he was about to snap, a police sniper fired, believing that the man's hostage was in danger. The man died instantly, and his hostage escaped unharmed, but shocked.

You can't help but ask yourself: what went wrong? Why did this happen? Those are both very good, but common questions in the world of today. I can't help but feel sad because of this event, the man was dangerous, but I don't think he deserved death, and I also believe no one should be allowed to decide if a person's life has value or not. Death, and judgement isn't something we can deal to those around us...only God can do something like that. No life is worthless, and no life is more valuable than other lives. Believe it or not, I got that from Tales of Symphonia for the Gamecube. As the hero Lloyd said, in one of is speeches,

"Every life has meaning just by being born! No one should have to be sacrificed!"

That was one of the most inspiring things I've heard, because it has truth behind it. No matter what's happened to you, or what you've done, it's never too late to turn around, and try to atone for the crimes you've comitted. However, our prejudiced society brands you as a worthless criminal once you do the slightest thing, your permanent record is branded, and you're forced to either live a miserable life, or begin a life of crime, which is just as miserable in its own way.

So...why did we brand the man involved with the crime? He had his own problems, and the government turned a blind eye towards him. He couldn't deal with his problems, so he did what he did. That's why I believe everyone should have someone, whether it's a lover, a friend, a brother, a sister, or whatever; everyone needs someone, and no one is exempt from that little fact of life.

"There will be no white flag above my door...I'm in love, and I always will be."

My New Idol...Legato Bluesummer
Mood:  don't ask
First up: no one came around so, the dreaded cycle is now in full swing, so this is probably affecting my post, and my thoughts in unimaginable ways. Second off, the title of this post; if you don't know who Legato is, you're obviously not into Trigun, a very popular anime. Legato is a member of the Gung-Ho-Guns, a group of killers who are out for blood. Their target; the hero of the series: Vash The Stampede. Legato is the second in command, only a few steps short of Vash's brother Millions Knives, but he is dangerous none the less.

Legato is gifted with incredible psychic abilities, he's able to project horrible visions into others' minds, or even take control of them himself, and force them to do his bidding. Legato is a human, like most of the other Gung-Ho-Guns members, but he hates himself because of it, he hates everything about humans, he believes they're a lower race than his leader Knives. Legato's abilities stem from the one simple fact that his left arm isn't his, it's Vash's. A quick backstory: in one of Vash's attempts to stop a rampage of Knives'he had his arm ripped right off by Knives, and was forced to destroy the city.

Also because of Vash's arm, Legato has been gifted with the ability both Knives, and Vash posess: extremely long life. However, that long life all depended on his body, not the acts of others around him. Through the series, Vash and co. encountered the members of the Gung-Ho-Guns, and was forced to fight, Vash tried to avoid killing them, and he managed to spare most, however they met their ends through other ways (Wolfwood...Explosions, suicide, and Knives himself.). Legato was the only member killed directly by Vash: a point blank shot to the head. Vash was faced with the choice: kill Legato, or watch his two best friends die at the hands of brain puppets of Legato's. Legato knew that forcing Vash to kill someone would torture him, seeing as how Vash is a pacifist, and only fights to defend himself, or others. Legato continued to urge Vash to shoot him, Legato was even on his knees as he told Vash. He told Vash about how it would be alright since he was a lower being than Vash, so it was alright.

"It's alright. Kill me. It's simple. All you need to do is pull the trigger. Once you have killed me, this will all be over."

A single tear rolled off Vash's cheek, and fell to the ground as he pulled the trigger.

Now that the little story's over, it's time for the meaning of why I put it up here. Plain and simple, I feel exactly like the way Legato did in the series. I hate who I am now, the weak minded simpleton who'll never amount to anything, the worthless bastard no one cares about. I see so many people who are much stronger mentally, and some of my closest friends are wise way beyond their years (Kathy, and Chris, this means you.) and I envy them more than anything. I've also found that I'm becoming angry at everyone around me, they see that there's something wrong, I can tell just by looking at them, yet no one EVER says, or does anything. See that quote up above? That's my MSN sign in name right now, so far the reaction, the only reaction I've gotten so far is "hmm.." nothing else. Seeing this has made me lose faith in most of humanity, and has begun to make me feel angry towards others, almost to the point of hatred I believe. So as you can see, I hate myself, and the others around me. Oh...so other than the utmost respect, and comfort I find in seeing someone like me in an anime, the fact that Legato looks pretty damn cool kinda clinches it, making him my idol. And that's that.

(That would be the late Legato Bluesummer on the ground.)

"What will be, will be."

The Dreaded Cycle
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: "Breaking The Habit"...Over, and over.
*sigh* Once again, I find myself coming to the start of a cycle I seem to have, one I was hoping I had kinda shrugged off recently. Looks like I was deluding myself eh?

The "Dreaded Cycle", as I've come to know it starts like this: at first, I'm fine, happy, cheery, even somewhat helpful, people actually get along with me with no problems whatsoever. Shortly after, I start becoming distant, which is the key point apparently; if my friends keep nearby, and just try to keep my mind off it, I'll be fine, crisis averted for now. BUT if I'm left alone, my mood spirals down, straight down to hell as a matter of fact; it's not pretty. I end up blaming myself for everything that's gone wrong recently, I begin to tell myself that I'm worthless, and I just generally feel like shit. It's an utter nightmare.

And here comes the best part: I start thinking about the unthinkable: ending it all (yeah, yeah, I know...stupid idea...) and I find that I can't go anywhere without having my exacto knife handy, either nearby, or in my hand, which really freaks me out for one. I also find that I start to get really anxious if I don't know where it is.

So far, the worst parts of my cycle have always been avoided, since the way I'm acting sends serious signals to my friends, who step in, and do everything they can to help me...God bless them, I owe them so much now it's not even funny. There was one time no one really helped, and when finally it was noticed it really was too late: I had a nice cross shaped scar on my left arm (it's still there too, I'm beginning to wonder if it's ever gonna heal since it's been there for like, two months now.) and every now and then I find myself rubbing it, hoping it'll just sorta peel off like a temporary tatoo, what a dumb idea huh?

Well, that's the explanation of the "Dreaded Cycle" let's hope something steps in to save my ass again eh?

~Ja Ne

Yes I AM Still Alive -_-''
I was doing my usual webcomic run today, and I had just stopped in on "A Modest Destiny" (which also has a side story called "The Starship Destiny" but that's not the point right now.) And I happened to see a link to the author's blog, so I decided to take a look at it.

MY GOD! I have never been so happy to see an opinion so clearly voiced, and supported in my life. It restores my faith in the internet since most of the time I see such "opinions" like "u suck! lamo!!11!" and you get the same thing over and over again if you tell the person to prove it...twelve year-olds and computers DO NOT mix well together. It's truly a disaster, poor, poor internet...

Anyway, back to my original topic before I began to rant about AOLers; the blog entry. As I was reading I found myself nodding in agreement, and chuckling occasionally at the little blurbs of humour he had spread out through his own little rant. Oh, and by the way; his topic was gay marriage, and his opinion: By all means, go ahead.

I agree with him on this one; gay people are still people, and they're entitled to the same rights as everyone else. They can do whatever the hell they want, they can speak their minds freely, express themselves freely, and anyone who speaks out against them is probably too old fashioned to accept any new changes. If you're saying some old horsesh** like "It's against God's will!" I have a simple question: if it's God's will, why did he give humans the emotion of love? Two people love each other, so shouldn't they be happy? Or was Adam only acting like the way he was to get into Eve's...ummm...leaf?

It's my personal opinion that people have to right to feel what they want, and love who they want, and no one should be able to stop them. Of course, now I'm just spouting the same crap over and over, so I'll try to wrap things up.

If you still don't accept homosexuals, that's fine I guess, you're entitled to your own opinion, just make sure it isn't based on senseless lies, and bigotry, oh, and be sure that you can support your own damn opinion alright?

Oh, and by the way, try thinking about the whole issue for a bit ok?

~Ja Ne!

P.S:
Here's the link to his blog in case you're interested: AMD's Blog

Rawr...
Mood:  sad
Well, my day's gotten off to one helluva crappy start...I feel like crap, I'm bored as hell, and it almost seems like my friends are avoiding me, you know, like they say "hi" on msn then just clam up for the rest of the day. ~_~

To make things worse, I'm pretty sure that the girl I'm practically head over heels in love with has lost interest in me. She's been off of msn for a while, and it seems like it'll be a cold day in hell before she ever tries to call me again; so it sure as hell seems like the whole relationship took a nose dive off a cliff. With all of this kinda built up I feel totally crushed right now, and I'm beginning to wonder about things that seem to be turning me into some angst-ridden bishounen (Dammit all!) So all I've really got right now is music.

I've been listening to the new Hoobastank CD, "The Reason" and really just the title track off it. Other than that I've been listening to Billy Talent's self-titled CD...mainly "This is How it Goes", "Living in The Shadows", "The Ex", "River Below", and last but not least, "Nothing To Lose"

Quite an assortment of songs ne? Well...whatever, I'm just gonna sit here and keep listening, oh, and by the way, if anyone other than my friends reads this (dunno why) you can get in touch with me by either using msn, or aim. My AIM is GOTaku588, and my msn address is Gavin_IHaveNoIdea_Orchard@msn.com

~Ja ne

Dammit all...Blackouts are fun! XD
Mood:  hug me
Just when you think your summer can't get any worse! *Dun Dunnnn* A Blackout hits! That's right folks, last night at around 7:30 EST my neighbourhood went out like a...err light...I guess...Anywho...I spent most of the night wandering around my house trying not to step on my cat (A Black cat in a blackout, really nice eh?) all I could hear was *jingle* *jingle* *THUD* followed by constant meowing.

It wasn't all bad though, I managed to call up a few old friends, and catch up on summer stuff, so that was pretty fun, not to mention my parents went out for dinner and brought me back some sushi (That stuff is like CRACK! O_O) so I was actually in a decent mood for once.

On a more serious side though, I think I really made some progress with my brother and my father, I usually seem to be pretty detached from them, so it's kinda awkward when all you have to keep yourself preoccupied is talking. I'm glad I had the talks I did, I really want to spend some time with my brother before he goes off to Thunder Bay for a few years of college. And the talk I had with my dad well...I wound up agreeing to take Kendo lessons if he covers the costs (HUZZAH! Kendo owns! XD) anyway, that's all I really have to say, I might write a rant later on about how gay George Bush is or something...heh heh, he won't know what hit him...errm yeah...

~Ja Ne!